GeekShed has developed a special glasses-less 3-D chat experience, and we’re ready to begin testing this new feature in a wide range of clients. If you choose to participate in the beta group, you’ll soon find your smilies are literally leaping off the screen and that red text you type in your channel will pulse like burning flames.

This new Anope module captures color text and ASCII art and converts the information into vivid 3-D images. The service relies on information from your webcam or, where webcams are not available, our special reverse-tracking interface.

Ultimately, information from your machine will be combined with geo-location details and Google Earth images to create realistic 3-D backgrounds for your channel, keyed to your location or to a user-defined location. Think a chatroom set in your favorite location in Silicon Valley. The 3-D images will render in the frame of your chat client, with the session transcript appearing as an overlay.

We have tested the new module in a number of machine and client combinations, and we’re ready to widen the test by enabling a limited number of GeekShed users to use the 3-D capability in their channels. We need to limit this test, so we’ve set these requirements for beta participation:

• First and foremost, you MUST understand that this is an experimental system and that you are TESTING it. You must also accept that you may find bugs and exploits in it and that it really isn’t clever to cause havoc, using these. These bugs and exploits should be reported to #3D to get them fixed for the stable release.
• Your nickname must have been registered for at least 15 days.
• You must use either a Windows, Macintosh, Amiga, or Linux computer. Support for iOS and Android will not be available until v.2 is released (Spring 2012).
• You must have either a connected webcam or the ability to install the reverse-tracking virtual imaging application.
• If you abuse your beta access by attempting to reverse engineer the system or to broadcast explicit or inappropriate 3-D images, you will be removed from the test group, you will be banned from the network and, on your return, you shall not be permitted to access the 3-D capabilities again.
• If you choose to leave the beta test group, you will not be allowed to join the beta group again. If you need to shield yourself from the 3-D images, we suggest the De-3D Cinema Glasses from Think Geek. (Buying the glasses via our referral link gives you Hipster Geek Points and we earn a small referral bonus).

If you meet these requirements and would like to participate in the beta test, please join #3D so we can set your access up.

EDIT: For those of you who didn’t notice, this was an April Fool’s Joke. Have a nice day.

Over the past few weeks, we at GeekShed have been working to identify the areas of service which are lacking, and any changes that could be made in order to improve your experience on GeekShed. We have noticed that the number of trolls (someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, chat room or blog, with the primary intent of provoking other users into an emotional response) is on the increase.

Because of this, we have identified the requirement for the appointment of a public relations consultant to head up the team whose primary role will be to combat the effects of trolling on GeekShed.

Stuzilla has been on GeekShed for many years and his appointment was provoked by his extensive experience and the friendly rapport he creates with many users. In a recent user spawned petition named “Make Stuzilla an Oper” he received over 1000 signatures of support. This is truly overwhelming and we cannot ignore this.

EDIT: For those of you who didn’t notice (this includes most people) this was an April fools Joke. Have a nice day.